


Let's play

by HaleyProtega282



Series: Murder Kittens™ [3]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note: Another Note, Suicide Squad (2016), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, No beta we die like mne, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24453814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleyProtega282/pseuds/HaleyProtega282
Summary: The trio from hell has a surprise for Stefan. It should have been obvious.(So, somehow that weird crossover got a sequel? I don't know, I'm just as surprised as you guys...)
Series: Murder Kittens™ [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678651
Kudos: 7





	Let's play

[Title from "Let's Play" by Kristina Maria]

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It didn't take long for Beyond and Harley to start a friendly bet about who can get more attention from the Salvatores. She had the advantage of her feminine charms, and made sure to use every trick in the book, but B wasn't _beyond_ cheating. All he had to do was walk in drenched in blood - a fortunate side-effect of his "hobby". Plus it matched his eyes.

Harley retaliated by tying him to the bed and making him watch her eat jam. For a while at least. She wasn't heartless after all.

B took a page from her book and coaxed Stefan into trying some kinbaku in the living room (how he did that is _beyond_ anyone's imagination). Damon being Damon, grabbed a camera, yelling: "Blackmail material!", but laughed so hard the entire video was shaky. Harley busied herself with practicing sliding down the handrail, with Britney Spears' "Circus" playing in the background.

Having one hell of a sense of timing, Elena chose that moment to walk in. First her jaw dropped, and then she dropped, promptly passing out. 

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor!" Harley chirped, skipping over to her.

"Yer a head-doctor, sweetheart.", Beyond commented.

"So I'll check her head.", she replied, feeling the girl's pulse. "Still ticking.", she concluded wisely.

Damon gave Stefan a meaningful look, and his brother had to agree for once. "Yeah, yeah, it's best you compel her to forget."

Following the Elena debacle, the boys started locking the doors for the first time in ages.

***

It was the Halloween school dance, and when has Halloween ever been peaceful in Mystic Falls? Stefan was slightly bored, meandering through the tipsy teenagers, when the smell hit him. It was the smell of hospitals, and war fields, and slaughterhouses. One that meant nothing good. He quickly located the source: B was casually leaning against the wall, wearing his "work clothes" - covered in red, not a drop of which was fake blood. It took him a moment to notice Harley was also there, for once fitting right in with the crazy costumes all around. He made his way towards them, more than a little distracted by the scent of a fresh kill. 

"... winning fair and square. Better think of what you want your reward to be." , she said coquettishly, wiggling her eyebrows at B.

"What are you two doing here?", Stefan asked.

"I invited them, of course." Damon sauntered over, putting his arms around their shoulders. 

"Of course.", Stefan deadpanned. "Who else would we trust to stir up trouble?"

"Oh, you haven't seen trouble yet, baby bro."

Whatever retort he was going to get was interrupted by the song switching to "Can't Be Tamed" by Miley Cyrus, and Harley making a delighted noise. "I love this song! Come dance with me, Steffi!" 

"He doesn't dance -", Damon started.

"Challenge accepted!", she proclaimed and literally dragged the younger Salvatore to the dancefloor.

Beyond leaned in to whisper something in Damon's ear, and judging by the smile that crept across the latter's face, it didn't bode well.

They exited onto the deserted parking lot, away from the noise.

"Gotta say, I was beginning to think you'd never ask.", Damon remarked. "Why tonight though?"

"It happens to be the birthday of, let's say, a friend of mine." 

"Should have known it has something to do with _birthdays_.", the vampire snickered.

Beyond giggled at the pun. "Careful, Dracula, our humour is rubbing off on you."

"You call that humour?", Damon smirked. "And speaking of rubbing off..." He pulled him closer and leaned in. 

***

Harley checked her phone and grinned at the message. It was a Cheshire cat grin, and Stefan was getting justifiably worried, knowing the three troublemakers. "See you at home, sweetie.", she exclaimed and turned to leave, before he grabbed her wrist. 

"Harley, what's going on?" His tone was calm but wary.

"Just a little surprise. Don't be so doom and gloom." She pinched his cheek ( _what the fuck?_ ) and disappeared before Stefan could inquire further. He cursed not being able to use vamp-speed in public.

***

Stefan wasn't a huge fan of surprises on the best of days, let alone when the said surprises are coming from mentally unstable, homicidal people. Well, people and a vampire. He just hoped they didn't rob a morgue. 

Finally deciding his imagination might be worse than the reality, he carefully opened the door to the boarding house. "Uh, guys?" 

"Over here." 

He quirked an eyebrow at the three of them just sitting on the couch, nothing seemingly out of the ordinary. "We're gonna play a guessing game." Beyond started.

"What could make the two of us even more awesome than we are?" Harley continued.

"Listen closely, Stef. Isn't it a bit too quiet?" Damon's smirk was slowly morphing into a full grin.

Stefan listened to the tiniest of sounds in the room: the crackle of dying flames in the fireplace... And that was it? He tried to focus on the heartbeats and breathing that he knew he should be able to hear. "Oh no. Tell me you didn't."

Damon raised a glass in cheers. "Aaand that's your cue." To which Harley and Beyond, on either side of him, flashed their brand-new fangs, vampiric features rippling to life on their faces.

"I'm gonna go gray." Stefan concluded stoically. "It shouldn't be possible but I'm gonna go gray from stress and it's all your fault." And he snatched the glass from Damon's hand because he really needed a drink right now.

***

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you remembered that L's birthday is on Halloween, you're a true Death Note fan. ;)   
> Thank you for reading! Feel free to follow me on Tumblr:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/haley-protega


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